Funny Status Ideas

The best thing about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that lonely bed of yours. Left, right, middle, whatever...

The thing I loved most about the recent hot weather we had is the short skirts and low cut tops. They did make me look rather fabulous!

Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it that often.

If people In horror movies listened to me they would still be alive.

I'm going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding

Two older men robbed a drug store and stole a year supply of viagra. The cops are looking for some hardened criminals.

A homeless man is just a hardcore camper.