Funny Status Ideas

Autocorrect - What drunk people use to sound sober, and what sober people use to sound drunk.

Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.

Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.

I used to think the brain was the most interesting part of the body. Then I realized what was telling me that.

I wish I could google things in my fridge so that I wouldn't have to go downstairs and be disappointed.

The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I'm just updating my facebook while I wait for the kettle to boil.

My love for You is like diarrhea I just can't hold it in.