Funny Status Ideas

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Need an ark? I noah guy.

My boss told me, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.". I'm currently sitting in a disciplinary meeting wearing my batman costume!

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Don't let your mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.

Shopping for antiques won't make you gay, but it will make you buy curios.