Funny Status Ideas

If guns don't kill people, people kill people. Does that mean toasters dont toast toast toast toasts toast?

Bring back hanging, I say! These tumble driers are useless.

I just want this year to end already, so i can go into all the stores and move "2012" to the comedy section.

I always thought GTFO meant Great, Terrific, Fantastic, & Outstanding... so, I guess all those people weren't paying me compliments after all!

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

The Internet. All of the piracy, none of the scurvy.

If people were meant to pop out of bed first thing in the morning, we'd all sleep in toasters.