Funny Status Ideas

Don't try this at home. If you're homeless, go for it!

I hate waiting in lines. Just hurry up and pick a suspect already...

If you're walking on sunshine, please adjust your dosage accordingly

If I was any hungrier right now Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would adopt me.

Walmart: "Lets buy 30 cash registers and only keep 2 open!"

If there was an award for laziness, I'd probably have somebody pick it up for me.

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?