Funny Status Ideas

‪To clarify: teachers are not "off for the summer", they are in recovery. ‬

I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.

Are there any medium rappers? They’re all lil’ or big.

I just got a flood warning on my phone. It wasn't from the weather service; it was from my home security system camera that detected a canoe floating in my back yard.

Ever think about how there are hundreds of millions of really nice suits just buried underground?

Self checkout should include an employee discount.

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?