Funny Status Ideas

If "sleeping together" means you had sex, does "taking a nap together" mean it was just a quickie?

"It's been a business doing pleasure with you." - a prostitute

I can have any woman I please. So far, I haven't pleased any of them

Whatever you do, always give 100%... unless you're donating blood

When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face, I get concerned about her disproportionate body shape

Help control the pet population, eat at a Chinese restaurant.

I need to take a new profile picture but I'm nowhere near a bathroom mirror.