Funny Status Ideas

Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you'll always be paying way too much out of pocket.

I'm a huge fan of 50 Cent, or as he's known in Zimbabwe, four hundred million dollars.

If Hooters delivered, would they be called Knockers?

If you have time to update your facebook status every ten minutes, I'm assuming your life really isn't as interesting as you make it out to be

I think I'm the only person that understands that "hacking" doesn't mean getting on someone's facebook that they're already signed in to

Liking your own status is like high-fivng yourself

The mullet is a helmet for domestic violence.