Funny Status Ideas

Dear Family, Thank you for putting the box of my favorite cereal back in the pantry. I can now eat disappointment for breakfast.

Menstruation jokes are just not funny. Period.

I don't mind going to work. It's that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.

Sometimes, the best kind of birth control is just good lighting.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when the crook gave up and threw the gun at him?

Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life.

I feel lazier than the guy who designed the Japanese flag