Funny Status Ideas

95% of all Fords sold in the last 20 years are still on the road today. The other 5% actually made it home.

Don't make fun of a fat guy with a lisp. He's probably thick and tired of it.

Just painted a blue square in my yard to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!

If women with big boobs work at Hooter's. Where do women with one leg work? I Hop

There must be a trick to fighting fire with fire because my kitchen just pretty much has twice as much fire now.

I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.

Sometimes I just get so frustrated by the rush-hour traffic that I slam my head on the steering wheel. That's usually followed by the bus driver telling me to get out.