Funny Status Ideas

Some guy parked his car taking 3 spaces. I wanted to leave him a note, but all I had was my key.

I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.

I hate when i don't forward a chain letter and die the next day

They say a dog is a man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies that will look me dead in the eye while pooping on my carpet.

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data and...

God give me patience, because if you give me strength I'm going to need bail money too!

Reading an article that said, "spice up your love life”. One of the suggestions was to make love in a car wash. It’s also the perfect way to ruin a church fund raiser.