Funny Status Ideas

Peeing on trees is a dog's Foursquare.

If you ever buy a large TV, remember to put the box in your neighbor's trash can so they get robbed and not you.

Maybelline makes eyelashes look four times larger? Maybelline needs to start making condoms.

How do I approach my neighbors and tell them that their Wi-Fi isn't working properly and they might need to reset the modem?

Just watched a dog chase its tail for 5 minutes and I thought: 'Wow! Dogs are easily entertained"... Then I realized, I was watching a dog chase its tail for 5 minutes.

When it comes to bug protection, you just can't beat "Off!".

There are 10 different types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those that don't.