Funny Status Ideas

Why is it that in a movie, the good guy take take on three bad guys and a pounding without batting an eye, but in the next scene he will wince when the woman tries to dress his wounds?

Asteroids are nature's way of asking "how's that space program coming along?"

Wish me luck. I'm about to tell this highway it's adopted.

Like if you are the sort of person who annoys their friends with "Like if" statuses!

I hate when women say their body is "shaped like a Coke bottle" and fail to mention that bottle is a 3 liter.

Don’t take a date to an Olive Garden because when you’re there you’re family, and that’s weird/illegal.

Why do they teach us algebra? Only pirates need to know how to find X.