Funny Status Ideas

Is it still considered pre-marital sex if you have no intention of getting married?

There is a fine line between being tan and looking like you rolled in Doritos

Careful Girls, fat guys just want to get in your pantries.

Some people are like slinkys, they're not all that nice, but they do bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

It has been brought to my attention that the stick figure decals on the back windows of vehicles are NOT pedestrian "kill" scores, but, actually are meant to represent members of your family. I'll be removing mine ASAP to avoid any further confusion.

"The problem with a politician’s quote on Facebook is you don’t know whether or not they really said it." –Abraham Lincoln

You know it was a very crazy night when you wake up in your own bed but it's in a stranger's house.