Funny Status Ideas

Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing aids!

There are two rules for success.... 1) Never reveal everything you know. 2)

I once had a dream where I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up my pillow was gone.

Actually, I WOULD wish that on my worse enemy.

If it weren't for the last minute, my work would never get done.

If you needed a documentary to tell you that eating McDonald's for every meal for a month will make you ill, you're screwed regardless.

In the dark, it takes several minutes to find the hole and stick it in. Stupid phone charger.