Funny Status Ideas

I've lost my mind, and I'm pretty sure the kids took it.

Breaking: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.

It takes 43 muscles to frown, and yet it's still not an Olympic event. Ridiculous.

Forgetful? Can't remember where you put things? There's an app for that, somewhere...

"Baby on board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won't.

For a Kid, the “Walk of Shame” is when you have to put something back in a store after your mom says “No”.

First olympic sailing result just in. GB has taken gold, Australia has taken silver, and Somalia has taken the boat...