Funny Status Ideas

Greece have actually won 14 Olympic golds, but the medal table only shows the medals that haven't been melted down and sold as scrap.

You know you're broke as hell when your bologna doesn't have a first name!

I don't think that I could ever become a murderer. I can barely stab the plastic straw in a capri-sun.

9 out of 10 men like girls with big boobs rather than small boobs... the 10th guy likes the other 9 guys!

Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you're counting punches.

The show "Toddlers and Tiaras" was named that way because "Strippers in Training" and "Mothers with Self-esteem Issues" just wasn't as catchy.

All men marry a Nymphomaniac. Problem is after a few months the Nympho leaves and the maniac stays.