Funny Status Ideas

This Summer, live a little and drop an unwrapped Baby Ruth candy bar in someone’s swimming pool.

When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face, I get concerned about her disproportionate body shape...

It's ok if you fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart and we still love them.

I appreciate when employees label their food in the fridge so I know who to thank.

Thermometers are just speedometers for atoms.

I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today

HAPPY 3rd of JULY EVERYONE!!! I mean I guess this is a thing based on the continuous amount of fireworks people are blowing up right now!