Funny Status Ideas

I find it amusing that Kanye West sang about gold diggers, and now he's with one.

I saw some ducks at the pond practicing their teenage girl faces yesterday.

What did I do on the toilet before smart phones were invented?

I wouldn't ever want lesbian parents. I'm not homophobic. I just don't want to get stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."

After all these years, I'm beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn't want to be found.

No matter how big or bad you are, when a two year hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

America: Gets called fat and stupid by all nations, beats the crap out of them in the Olympics.