Funny Status Ideas

Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?

My buddy told me he was having sex with twins... I asked how do you tell them apart? He said, "Her brother has a mustache"

˙ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ pǝsn ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ s,ʇɐɥʇ ןןǝʍ

I hate it when I don't like a picture on Facebook and wake up in hell the next day.

I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.