Funny Status Ideas

Whoever said nothing was impossible has obviously never tried to staple water to a tree.

The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you're not in shape, it's too far to walk back.

You can save a lot of money by walking face-first into a spiderweb every morning instead of buying coffee.

If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit end on a call, I would all have no friends.

Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person is typing… Person says: hi

If you think you're having a bad day, just remember, someone is gonna have Snooki as their mom.

Asked a friend for a newspaper. He told me to get with the times, and handed me his iPad. That fly never saw it coming!