Funny Status Ideas

Are Sumo wrestlers athletes? Asking for my "Athletic Body" type selection on my internet dating profile page.

So apparently they have to HIRE you to take off your shirt at Abercrombie.

“Underwear Bomber” sounds like a cocktail made with prune juice.

I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.

Does anyone really believe this thing with the Mayan calendar? If you do it's OK but if you don't, it's not the end of the world.

I got an email from Facebook saying I complain too much. They want to change my status question from "What's on your mind?" to "Now what?"

Try saying: "Whale Oil Beef Hooked" without sounding like a drunken Irish man swearing.