Funny Status Ideas

Starbucks at 8am closely resembles the waiting room at a methadone clinic.

Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.

The saying "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away" is such a lie! If you have braces and eat an apple, you end up at the dentist the next day 'cause of a broken bracket.

I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.

So I won a contest. The prize was a year supply of calenders.

My favorite part of the Spice Girls are the Spice racks.

My house isn't messy. It's custom designed by a toddler.