Funny Status Ideas

I can't afford anti-depressants so I'm just drinking No More Tears shampoo.

I wish I had Dora's mom and dad, they let that girl go everywhere.

Spooning may lead to forking.

I once dated a girl who owned a parrot. That crazy thing would never shut up. The parrot was kind of cool, though.

My gold fish gets so happy when I take him out of the tank, he starts jumping.

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble. You have my Word.

Some people update their Facebook status at the most inappropriate times and this is the longest damn eulogy I have ever heard!