Funny Status Ideas

Money can't buy happiness, but somehow it's a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than it is to cry on a bike...

Some people support the Democratic Party, some support the Republican Party, and some support the Tea Party. I just support parties...period!

World peace? We can't even navigate a four way stop without wanting to murder each other in extremely painful ways

My life is just a bunch of "it seemed like a good idea at the time"s strung together.

If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. But please, never need anything.

It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going steal your neighbor's newspaper that's be the time to do it.

People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.