Funny Status Ideas

Facebook is in a relationship with the stock market and it's complicated.

"Jesus loves you" is a nice thing to hear in a church, but a terrifying thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

I'm going to make a beer called "The Mondays" so that you can get a case of "The Mondays".

I once dumped a cross eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else.

It's hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.

I once complained that I had no shoes, until I met a man with no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he needed them or anything.