Funny Status Ideas

So there's a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son his left physically disabled. In a twist of events the son is kidnapped and kept in a tank while his father chases the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally challenged woman. Finding Nemo is quite the thriller.

May your life someday be as interesting as you make it out to be on Facebook.

Word for the day: Exhaustipated - Too tired to give a crap.

I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.

"Rainssssssss!" - Zombie Meteorologist

Relationships are like garage sales. From a distance they look interesting but up close it's just a bunch of crap you don't need.

Ever wonder if those dollar bills in your wallet might have once been in a strippers butt? You're wondering now...