Funny Status Ideas

If your goal is to fail and you succeed what have you really accomplished?

Sorry, but I'm not tall enough to ride your emotional roller-coaster.

Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be unhappy to find out it's not them.

Hey Starbucks. If you gotta name your drinks with stupid language, don't roll your eyes when I order a gitchy gitchy yaya yaya mocha choca latte ya ya

Do birds get mad when other birds take a crap in the bird bath? "Dude what are you doing! That is NOT okay! There's a car RIGHT THERE!"

It's not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.

Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.