Funny Status Ideas

Did you hear about the Australian who received a new boomerang for his birthday? He spent a week trying to throw the old one away.

Sometimes, when I'm cleaning my cat's litter box, I like to pretend that I'm just an incredibly unlucky gold panner from the 1800's.

My wife and I do it doggie style. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.

I've been avoiding exercise for a long time now. You might say I'm in the Fitness Protection Program.

If you can't use your turn signals, you should not be trusted with the rest of the car either.

Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.

New camo condoms! She'll never see you coming again.