Funny Status Ideas

My wife and I do it doggie style. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.

I've been avoiding exercise for a long time now. You might say I'm in the Fitness Protection Program.

If you can't use your turn signals, you should not be trusted with the rest of the car either.

Yes, my attitude could stand some improvement but my insurance does not cover those meds.

New camo condoms! She'll never see you coming again.

You know you've won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."

Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"