Funny Status Ideas

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

My wife always has the last word in any argument. Anything I say after that is considered the start of a new argument.

Just found out What the Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"

When a woman says "We need to talk" what she really means is "You need to listen."

What is the difference between E.T. and a NFL replacement ref? E.T. can make a call.

Replacement Refs have more dropped calls than T-mobile, AT&T, Verizon and Sprint combined.

If at first you don't succeed, you should have done it my way in the first place.