Funny Status Ideas

I find Girls are a lot like universities. I spend hours looking at them, only to realize I can't get into any of them.

Every time I hear "rock a bye baby" I wonder what the hell a baby was doing on a treetop in the first place.

I can understand Braille, i just can't speak it.

Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in...

Exams need lifelines, 50/50, and phone a friend

Remind me never to go swimming with Phil Collins.

I don't believe in beating my children. I send them to school with Justin Beiber t-shirts on and let the other kids do it for me.