Funny Status Ideas

I can understand Braille, i just can't speak it.

Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in...

Exams need lifelines, 50/50, and phone a friend

Remind me never to go swimming with Phil Collins.

I don't believe in beating my children. I send them to school with Justin Beiber t-shirts on and let the other kids do it for me.

Wouldn't it be cool if breast implants came with squeaky toys in them?

My wife says I know how to push all her buttons, but I have yet to find the Mute button.