Funny Status Ideas

I think unmarked police cars is false advertising.

My mother never saw the irony of calling me a "son of a bitch".

I'm seriously disappointed the debate hasn't touched on the bacon shortage...

When someone yells stop, I don't know if it is in the name of love, it's hammertime, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Look officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too.

I find Girls are a lot like universities. I spend hours looking at them, only to realize I can't get into any of them.

Every time I hear "rock a bye baby" I wonder what the hell a baby was doing on a treetop in the first place.