Funny Status Ideas

I bet if zebras actually tasted like zebra cakes there wouldn't be any vegetarians.

Me and my recliner go wayyyy back

This Halloween, I think I'll just set out a bit empty bowl that says "take one". That way all the kids will think some jerk took it all.

Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who the heck is giving them medical attention?!

There are so many scams on the internet these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.

Let's celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone's house and telling them we live there now.

I bought a new stick of deodorant last night. The instructions said to remove the cap and push up bottom. I may be walking funny now, but my farts make the room smell baby powder fresh.