Funny Status Ideas

They're not "Used Cars" anymore, they're "Pre-owned" I suggest "Divorce" be changed to "Pre-Loved."

I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn't follow it up with "you're making a scene."

Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and have them also to yourself? Well, apparently that is called kidnapping.

Does it count as self control if there is only one Pringle left?

Elevator music makes me gassy.

It's only a 4 way stop if each driver can read.

69% of people are able to find something dirty in every sentence.