Funny Status Ideas

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

So, if Mitt Romney finds a woman in one of his 'binders full of women' that he likes, does he have to put three rings on it?

God put me on this earth to accomplish many goals and tasks. Right now I am so far behind, I am never going to die.

Kanye West would be proud of the amount of times the two candidates interrupted each other.

Just once, I wish WebMD would tell me "relax...it's only gas".

While everyone's been watching the debate, I switched all my neighbors' political yard signs.

Just bought my first pack of toilet paper. Well that's $10 down the toilet...