Funny Status Ideas

Have you ever loved someone so much that you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and have them also to yourself? Well, apparently that is called kidnapping.

Does it count as self control if there is only one Pringle left?

Elevator music makes me gassy.

It's only a 4 way stop if each driver can read.

69% of people are able to find something dirty in every sentence.

The tag on a curling iron reads "For External Use Only". Now what sick bastard made that necessary?!

The sign in the restroom said "Employees Must Wash Hands". I waited for 10 minutes and no employee came in, so I washed my hands myself and went on back to the table.