Funny Status Ideas

Kim Kardashian's marriage was shorter than the line of trick or treaters at Casey Anthony's house.

When in doubt, mumble.

Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't quite finished

Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"

For some reason there are front cameras on iPod's and phones but girls act like it makes more sense to use the back camera and take a picture in a mirror.

I wish I was in a gang, I never know what to do with my hands when taking pictures.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.