Funny Status Ideas

Dear automatic flushing toilet. I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't quite finished

Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"

For some reason there are front cameras on iPod's and phones but girls act like it makes more sense to use the back camera and take a picture in a mirror.

I wish I was in a gang, I never know what to do with my hands when taking pictures.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I lowered my standards, just for you.

A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.

So, if Mitt Romney finds a woman in one of his 'binders full of women' that he likes, does he have to put three rings on it?