Funny Status Ideas

I'm a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Some day I'm gonna be awesome.

A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.

I get very annoyed when people mix up there, they're and their. From now on I'm going to point it out, weather they like it or not.

I don't know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyways.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just one mood swing away from getting my own padded room with a hug-yourself jacket.

I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.

Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.