Funny Status Ideas

My favorite part about the Presidential debate on TV was when I realized I have over 500 other channels to watch.

When someone yells "Shotgun!" I yell "Rosa Parks!" sit down and refuse to move.

If swearing is immature, why is it referred to as 'adult language'?

Do the Chinese realize that when they visit America, they buy souvenirs made in their own country?

Life better give you some water and sugar or else your lemonade it gonna be pretty nasty

I'm a perfectionist with a procrastinator complex. Some day I'm gonna be awesome.

A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.