Funny Status Ideas

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Guess I'll stop cleaning the house.

I tivo-ed the election. Nobody tell me who won.

Thanks for shopping! Would you like to donate $1 to cancer research or are you a giant monster?

Getting paid to sleep...that's my dream job.

You always have that bit of hope inside you during a fire drill, that your school is actually on fire.

I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.

I want to the bank and said I'd like to open a joint account. They said "With who?" I said "Anyone who has a lot of money."