Funny Status Ideas

Target. The Wal-mart for people who think they are too good to shop at Wal-mart.

I like to pretend that there isn't a sports team called the Giants, and instead read everyone's statuses as if we lost a war with the mythical race of large people. "THE GIANTS WON!!! OH DEAR GOD!!!"

I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."

If you could choose between world peace and Bill Gates' fortune, what color would your Lamborghini be?

My friend's Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It's as secure as my pants.

There is no reason to tailgate someone in the slow lane, especially when I'm going 35 over the speed limit. Those flashing lights on the top of your car look ridiculous too.

I try to pay attention but my checks usually bounce.