Funny Status Ideas

My wife and I are very competitive. We laugh about it, but I laugh more.

Starting Tuesday, customers will now be required to unload the semi-trucks at WalMart. This will be in addition to your self-checkout duties.

A human fart is louder than a trombone. I discovered this at my son's school concert last night.

I learned to cook just so I had an excuse not to do dishes.

Are dental x-rays just tooth pics?

Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship.

So my best friend when I was a kid was Andy Zoff. He was the fastest boy at my school.