Funny Status Ideas

Don't mind her, She's been in a bad mood ever since that house fell on her sister.

Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? laid awake all night wondering if there really is a dog!

Whoever said, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," hasn't met my dog. I told him to play dead and after five straight days he's still going strong.

The final Twilight movie and Lincoln both opened the same weekend. One is about a shameful, dark chapter in our history we hope never will be repeated. The other is about a president.

I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.

I used to think air was free. Then I bought a bag of potato chips...

I saw a poor old lady fall down on the sidewalk this morning. At least I think she was poor. She only had $1.20 in her purse.