Funny Status Ideas

I just watched my neighbor's dog chase its tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, "Wow dogs are easily entertained" Then I realized, I just watched my neighbor's dog chase its tail for 10 minutes...

Happy Passive Aggressive Relationship Day. It's ok if you didn't get me anything, you probably forgot anyway. No, no it's really fine I wasn't expecting a gift.

The Hangover Part 3? Seriously, how many hangovers do these guys need to have before they realize that they need to stop inviting Alan to parties??

A hundred years from now, people will wonder why so many photos of their ancestors involve the subject standing in the bathroom holding a thin rectangular device at shoulder level.

If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?

On 12/21/12 people will be making rapture jokes like there's no tomorrow...

Monday is one of my favourite days of the week. My 7th favourite.