Funny Status Ideas

Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, but it's still on the list.

Why is it that when there are a million interesting places on Google Earth, the first thing people do is look for their house?

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...

We have so much in common! You want to travel and I want you to go.

I just watched my neighbor's dog chase its tail for 10 minutes and I thought to myself, "Wow dogs are easily entertained" Then I realized, I just watched my neighbor's dog chase its tail for 10 minutes...

Happy Passive Aggressive Relationship Day. It's ok if you didn't get me anything, you probably forgot anyway. No, no it's really fine I wasn't expecting a gift.