Funny Status Ideas

Paused Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory to go buy a Snickers. This is why I can't watch Breaking Bad.

For most people, when you lose your "khakis" you've lost your pants. When you're from Boston and lose your "khakis" you can't start your car.

This match won't light, which is weird because it did this morning.

We must be really stupid, because people are misspelling everything even with auto-correct.

Poor: (adj.) When you have too much month at the end of your money.

Why do you play hard to get if you're already hard to want..

Just used Craigslist for my Christmas shopping. Good news; Everyone's getting used couches!