Funny Status Ideas

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar movie collection except for one. he's never gonna give you Up

If you're an atheist, who do you thank that it is Friday?

This guy bragged about getting 10 times the amount of girls I get, I laughed because 10•0 is 0.

Well, I guess the movie 2012 can go in the comedy section now...

I won't say I did some terrible things last night, but Lindsay Lohan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me.

Saw someone get mugged in the street so I called the Police. Sting told me to stop bothering him.

Go into a store's fitting room. After several minutes yell loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"