Funny Status Ideas

We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can't someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?

Health nuts are going to feel really stupid someday when they are lying in hospitals dying from nothing.

Kudos Lance Armstrong, for finally having the balls to come clean!

I wish my phone had a Please Disturb setting.

The most awkward place to run into a homeless person is on your way to a Coinstar machine.

I hear someone screaming. That's the last time I buy duct tape at the Dollar Store.

Remember: No matter how bad your life is, there is someone who has to clean the bathrooms at Taco Bell.