Funny Status Ideas

My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. According to her lawyer, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend.

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.Somebody is going to be wrong.

If you make a U-turn, it becomes a "C".

Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.

I'm still trying to get over the fact that oranges come presliced by nature.

Burned almost a thousand calories with the elliptical machine today. Moved it into the basement, that thing is heavy!

I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.