Funny Status Ideas

Kudos Lance Armstrong, for finally having the balls to come clean!

I wish my phone had a Please Disturb setting.

The most awkward place to run into a homeless person is on your way to a Coinstar machine.

I hear someone screaming. That's the last time I buy duct tape at the Dollar Store.

Remember: No matter how bad your life is, there is someone who has to clean the bathrooms at Taco Bell.

iTunes has it all wrong, I'm the hottest single of the year.

I tried having phone sex, but the holes are too small.